"Mexico"

Day before my birthday me and my cousin Dave
Drove his truck down to the border
And we hitchhiked the rest of the way
Down through Mexico

In the beginning we didn't have much luck
So we took all our things up upon a bus
It cost us three dollars just to get half way
Down through Baja California

We spent the night in a cheap hotel
Fourteen dollars, didn't sleep so well
And the morning came with bells on
And I took to the road with my cousin
Down through Mexico

We hitched a ride from an old pickup
And climbed in with the chickens in the back of the truck
I got to Tijuana by the middle of the day
Just in time to celebrate my twenty-first birthday

Chorus:
Well I'm a million miles away from home
And I can't find a telephone
My folks don't even know where I am
Hell I don't even know where I am

Well I'm a million miles away from home
And I can't find a telephone
My folks don't even know where I am
Hell I don't even know where I am

We got something to eat and then we took to the bars
A bottle of tequila and two fat cigars
We painted the town some sort of red
At some point a train drove through my head
Down in Mexico

Well at Five-AM we're still on our feet
A cop pulls over to the side of the street
He said something to me I couldn't understand
And threw me in the wagon, took the bottle from my hand

Well I'm still in the wagon at Six-AM
And I don't have a clue where I am
I don't speak Spanish all that well
I'm out of cash, and I'm drunk as hell

(Chorus)

Day after my birthday
Me and my cousin Dave
Drove his truck home from the border
Through California
Home from Mexico

Mexico I figured this out based on the fact that the first time I heard the song it reminded me of The Divided Sky, and worked from there. What I have only took about 15 min. to figure out, so imagine what someone who knows what they're doing can do with this song.
Intro:
Gtr.
1 A D Em D
e ----------------------------------------------------
B-------5----x--------7----x--------8---x-------7----
G---------6--x----------7--x----------9-x--------7---
D--7-7-------x-7-7-7-------x-9-9-9------x-7-7-7------
A----------------------------------------------------
E----------------------------------------------------

Transition: duh duh duh can't figure out first three, then goes
C D A
e--3--5--0---
B--5--7--5---
G--5--7--6---
D--5--7--7---
A--3--5--0---
E--3--5------

Verse: A-->D It kind of follows the pattern of Sugar Magnolia I use the open versions of these chords A D A D Day before my birthday me and my cousin Dave A D drove his truck down to the border A D and we hitchhiked the rest of the way A D down through Mexico. Transition Chorus: This is almost exactly the same chorus as Sample In A Jar A D Em e--5--5--7--- B--5--7--8--- G--6--7--9--- D--7--7--9--- A--5--5--7--- E--5--5--7--- A D Well I'm a million miles away from home Em D and I can't find a telephone. A D My folks don't even know where I am, Em D hell I don't even know where I am The song goes on following the same basic pattern. That's about all I can get right now. That should help get some people started. Guitar 2 and the nitty gritty are still in need of being figured out. Send corrections to me or to the web site. Dan Shapiro (danlshap@aol.com)

The following "alternate lyrics" were contributed to the MOE-L by Scott McClintock after he returned from his wild escapade in Mexico in June 1998. Al threw out a dedication to Scott on 7/19/98 at Mississippi Nights in St. Louis, Scott's hometown, and then went into a kick-ass "Mexico" (Al's version).

Well I'm back from Mexico with a good story that only Al can rival. First off, I'll set the stage. I went to Cancun with my girlfriend, my parents, my older sister and her boyfriend, and my neice. So anyhow, my sister is 28 and brought her daughter (2 years old) and her boyfriend and they hung out around the resort with my parents for most of the vacation. My girlfirend and I pretty much kicked it every night. We're both 22 for those wondering. Well all the normal vacation stuff happened during the days and we'd get crazy at night. Well one night (I think Wednesday), my girlfriend and I were at this Reggae place and then we hit some other club. Well leaving the club, we got into a little fight. Not a big deal, no yelling or anything just pissed at each other (probably from all the time spent together we were just on each others nerves). Well we were fighting and she got pissed and took off on a bus as it pulled up.

(Scott accidentally SENDS the first portion of his story, leaving many listers in suspense)

oops... sorry about that, accidentally hit send.

Well, anyway she jumped on the bus and went to the resort. For those of you who have never been to Cancun, they have buses that run 24/7 about every ten minutes for $.50 you can go up and down the strip.

Well, in retrospect, I could have done a lot of things, most importantly I shouldn't have let her get on the bus alone in Mexico. Don't worry she made it to the resort fine. Here's what happened to me.

I was pissed still, and didn't want anything but be left alone. So I started to walk. I walked a couple of miles and was still a few more from resort, and I was drunk and had to do what a man has to do. So when no cars were on the strip, I ran down the little embankment and handled my business in the lagoon. When I was done relieving myself, I ran back to the road and continued my journey, lighting my final cigarette. Next thing I know a cop car (a VW Beetle) pulls up, and yep arrests me for public urination. They throw me in the back of the car and take me down this back alley, and tell me that I need to give them 400 pesos (about $50). Well, I was drunk and my arrogant American ass should've taken the out, but nooooooo, I tell them I ain't paying them till I know what my charge was and I actually get ticketed, or they give me a receipt for charges. They tell me no probelm take me to an ATM machine. Then they drop me off at the mini-police sub station on the strip. No one knew where I was, my family was long since sleeping and my girlfriend had no clue where I was.

As my luck would have it, there a three guys in front of me busted for selling rolls AND blow. So its gonna be like hours before they can process me, so what do they do? They take me to the downtown jail, and they quit being nice.

Actual Cancun (the real Cancun not the laggon/seaside resort part) is a ways away and it is a rundown rat-infested shit hole. Seriously. The grocery stores hang there meats raw out front on hooks, covered in flies in the heat of Mexico. Most homes don't even have windows or doors. This is dirty Mexico. And the jail they took me to was smack dab in the middle. Mexican guards walk around with machine guns outside.

So now instead of my fine only. They're gonna fuck with me. They process me, take all my money, put the rest of my stuff in a bag, and thrown me in the jail. The jail was about 10x5, with about a 2 foot addition on one side with a lip on the floor and two small partitions coming out form either side. The addition was the shitter/pisser, or a floor if you will with one drain in the middle, that was clogged! So there was about an inch and a half of standing urine. I'm in there with about 8 other Mexicans. No officers spoke English, only one inmate did. The cockroaches that infested the jail cell were HUGE!!! I swear they were about 3-3ü inches in length and about 1-1ü inch wide.

So I'm sitting on my ass there for about 3 hours. When they finally called my name. Sweet!!! My bad...they just took my into the back of a truck with guards one each side with aforementioned machine guns, then they load out all my other "cell mates" too :-) It was one of those trucks with the bars across the bed of the truck. So they threw a canvas tarp over the bed and then start driving, to where I had no idea! Unfortunately, they were taking us to a prison to spend 36 hours in jail before we were allowed to get out and pay our fines. This place was horrible!! I mean they had all my shit anyway, but now they took my sandals. Strip searched me twice! This place had chains with cuffs hanging from the walls. Guards with machine guns walking around on top of the walls.

Then there's me. The only white boy (American for that matter) in the whole place. None of the guards spoke English, NONE OF THEM. It was horrible at first, cuz I was pretty scared, but didn't want to show it, but then we all got separated and put in cells, and the guys in my cell were actually pretty cool, we sat and talk for hours about this and that. Finally they let us out to walk and I had a chance to talk to a guard. I told him I needed to use the phone, and he said I could for 400 pesos. So I had to bribe him to use the phone, called my dad (who does Federal Probation and Drug Enforcement) to come to the original jail to pay my fines and get my things, and then to the prison to get me out. Sucked, but luckily for me I had that way out.

The whole time though, all I could think was:

"I'm a million miles away from home
And I can't find a telephone
My folks don't even know where I am,
And I don't even know where I am..."

So that's my trip to Mexico in a nutshell, all that shit for taken a leak. Everything ended up okay, but the moral of the story:

When in a foreign country

A) You are guilty until proven innocent
B) You're an arrogant American who doesn't have any rights, and probably won't be liked
C) Pay off the cops if they let you!
D) Pee in public urinals

Peace all, sorry I gotta go eat some real food, and this novel has got to end. Sorry it was choppy and what not, but damn, it was a lot to tell even when I left stuff out!

See ya!!!!

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